If you just recently discovered that your spouse had an affair, you are likely to still be reeling from the shock and betrayal. Discovering the truth of your spouse cheating can knock down even the strongest people.
Since you are here it means you were looking for ways to fix your marriage – you want to know how to survive infidelity. In other words you want to know what to do after the affair.
Luckily there is infidelity help available!
It may sound too good to be true – but you can fix your marriage and survive after your spouse cheats. Even if you don’t yet think it is possible, it is worth trying for many reasons. You’ve already invested so much effort and time into your marriage that you should attempt to repair it. If you have children, you are even more likely wanting to save your marriage and protect your children from the pain of their parents divorcing. Additionally, if you were to ultimately decide to end your marriage, it is important to have taken steps to heal your emotional wounds for your own sake. By doing so you can find the closure you need to experience a new healthy and loving relationship.
There are a lot of books and advice on fixing a marriage after an affair. While a great deal of that information is solid and useful, it doesn’t give you a true system. When you embark on certain steps is as important as the actual steps you take. For example, if you do not first get control of your emotions, discussions and talks about the details of the affair will only make you feel worse. There’s a time for each phase and knowing that can make all the difference in surviving infidelity.
Dr. Frank Gunzburg has over 30 years of experience in helping couples save their marriages after affairs. From that time in the trenches with these couples he discovered what works for any couple IF they are willing to try. He put together a 3 phase system that outlines in details the steps to take to repair your marriage.
Even if only one spouse is ready to get started – this system can still work. The reason being is that Phase 1 is all about each individual. The individual (both injured and cheater) must deal with their own emotions first. Also the key is to start making the attempt to fix your marriage as soon as possible. Giving yourself time to forgive and forget will only cause you more pain. It lets those emotions fester and only builds more of a wall between you and your spouse.
Below are the steps of Dr. Gunzburg’s 3 Phase System.
Phase I: Individual Healing – Understanding Personal Feelings and Sorting through Emotions
- Take control of the paralyzing emotions.
- Regain your sense of stability and get rid of the images.
- Eliminate the paranoia and restore your self-confidence.
- Cut-off the affair and move back to your spouse.
- Replace the lies with truth and start over.
- Understand why the affair happened.
- Uncover what was missing and how to add it.
Phase II: Healing As a Couple – Working Together to Identify and Resolve Key Issues
- Accelerate the healing process: Protect your relationship from further harm.
- Discover how to talk about the details.
- Transform your relationship with a heart-felt apology.
- Generate new honest communication.
- Ignite a renewed life-long commitment.
- Capture peace of mind with true forgiveness.
Phase III: Negotiating a Renewed Relationship – Understanding How to Rebuild and Sustain a New Trust-filled Partnership
- Eliminate the suspicion with complete transparency.
- Restore your sex life without haunting visions.
- Affair-proof your marriage for life.
- Develop lasting safety, honesty and intimacy.
- Accept the past without being tormented
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What to Do RIGHT Now After the Affair
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- Erase the images from your mind…
- Rebuild your self-esteem…
- How to talk about the details…
- How to find out why it happened…
- Why you don’t need to forgive…
- 10 things you must do TODAY…
- Decide if you should stay or go…
Learn from the movies – affairs cause all sorts of pain! Start healing your marriage now!